GOING TO THE TOILET

Just wanted to talk about toilets, everyone gotta use em, just that everywhere you go everyone uses em differently. First of all, nothing against my fellow chinese people, but damn aim your shit into the toilet. Of all the countries, the biggest puddles of piss i find are in chinese countries or stores. Go figure, anyways.

Then of course living in japan i have had plenty to observe. You can run into any kind of toilet, a hole in ground, a squatter, or even a fine ass toilet that has a seat warmer, cleans your ass, plays music to cover your noises, and even has a sensor to flush or even lift up the toilet seat if your a man, how cool! Back in elem school i thought how about a heated toilet seat? Cuz my ass was always cold. But of course my teacher shot that down, but hell, if you ever tried a heated toilet seat you wouldnt go back. Guess thats why my friend elaine came all the way from cali to pick up her very own fine ass toilet seat.

One of my first unique experiences of a japanese restroom was that hell there was a cleaning chick in there, watching me pee! Mmmm ... back home the cleaning chick puts a sign on the door, but nope not here they just roll in. I think i saw a cleaning man just roll into the ladies room too. So if it wasnt bad enough having cleaning ladies roll in i was at elem school the other day and you guessed it the little 2nd grade girls were being peeping toms. Giggling while their english teacher was kindly depositing his fluids. Funny girls. Well if i thought that was wierd, i was in the bathroom today washing my hands, and talking with my teacher while he was taking a piss, and the 5th grade boys kindly came in and just started dancing around him while he went. I dunno, but that was a little invasion of privacy, but my teacher didnt mind and it seemed like nothing out of the ordinary. Dunno, but back home kids dont really want to see their teachers taking a piss, or i wasnt that one.

Lastly its always great to see the salary man, the japanese business men hop into the bathroom, they are always in a rush and are always carrying a bunch of shit like newspaper, briefcase, bags, beer, cell phone, etc. But yeah with their hands full they can somehow whip it out while holding everything and even at the same time be talking on the phone! One of the most incredible feats, i would have surely misfired and peed on my pants juggling all that shit ... anyways thats todays toilet blog ... time for some sleep! おやすみなさい!